I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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