whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
