Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
