question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
