I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
