also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
