do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize