So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
