I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
