I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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