Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
