week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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