its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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