You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
