I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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