What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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