I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
