ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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