I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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