On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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