Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
