five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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