Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize