I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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