But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
