Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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