I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
