sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize