Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
