All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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