I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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