ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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