Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
