Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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