There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
