people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
