im drinking this country out of the recession.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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