How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize