He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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