ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
