i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
