So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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