glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
