Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this will be a night to untag.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize