It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Girls should come with a carfax report
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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