It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
