whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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