Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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