this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
