I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
