Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
