Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
