I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize