So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
