hotel room ftw
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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