before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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