And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
