Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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