i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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