i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
