bring money and cleavage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize