i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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