she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
